MoxBlog

There is no denying the impact fathers have on sons and daughters. Many grow up hoping to either be like their dad or seek a companion like him.

Like many boys, my father was a huge influence on my growth into adulthood. He was the man I aspired to be like one day, the hero whose subtle George Jefferson-like swagger I imitated as a kid and whose physique I hoped to eventually develop. Words can’t describe the immense pride I feel when a family member tells me I look like my dad. Or I inherited his strong handshake.

It’s been 35 years since my father’s passing, and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss him. Childhood memories vividly recount days of him returning home from the office and my brother and I anxiously racing to the door to clinch his legs like panda cubs to tree branches as my mom greeted him with a kiss.

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I have flashbacks of straddling his back as he did push-ups, thinking he was the strongest man alive because he’d once fought a grizzly while growing up in the wilderness of Pittsville, Va. (a tall tale he loved to indulge us with from time to time).

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I can still remember fun-filled Saturdays watching cartoons and martial arts flicks together and assisting him in the kitchen as he’d cook up some monstrosity after watching an episode of “Louisiana Cookin,’ ” while imitating Chef Justin Wilson’s Southern drawl (whenever he’d say, “I guarantee” and “cayenne pepper” we’d laugh uncontrollably).

For every good memory I have of my father, I am also tormented with regrets of not spending more time with him when I reached high school and girls really started to pique my interest. Hanging out with friends took precedence over catching a movie or going fishing with him whenever he’d ask. “There’s more than enough time to do all that stuff,” is what I naively thought at 16. But 16 years was all the time I was allotted a father before his unexpected death.

This is why photographer Bart Heynen’s “Dads” reminded me of my own relationship with my father when I stumbled on this touching project. I instantly knew I wanted to share his collection of endearing familial interactions. “Dads” is an affectionate and candid visual guide of the bond between fathers and their children. Heynen’s photos show patriarchs varying in race, age and backgrounds but they also share one thing in common: They are all gay.

When asked about the inspiration behind shooting this moving series, the Belgian portrait photographer said:

“Almost 20 years ago, November 3, 2003, to be exact, New York Magazine published an article called ‘Gay Baby Boom.’ On the cover it featured two attractive fathers with their children. This cover blew my mind. I was 32 years old, gay and in a relationship with another man. Same-sex marriage had become legal earlier that year in Belgium where I still lived at that time. But seeing two men with their children took it one step further. Until that day I had only seen family portraits of mothers and fathers with their children. Flash forward 15 years. I was a gay father with two 6-year-old boys living in New York City with my husband. As a gay father I realized I wanted to meet more gay men who were also parents and at the same time as a photographer I found out there was no photography book about gay dads. Soon afterward I decided to portray families across the United States.”

As to why focus on families here in the United States, Heynen pointed out:

“I have been in love with film and photography from a very young age. As a little kid, I spent hours in our sofa with my mother watching Hollywood classics from the 50s and 60s. When I was 12, I started to collect movie star portraits of Marilyn Monroe, James Dean but also younger stars like Dianne Wiest and Mia Farrow. At the same time there was a huge attraction to everything American. I grew up in Belgium where everything seemed so much more depressing and less glamorous.”

With more than 40 families portrayed in “Dads,” Heynen’s portraits take us on an expedition into the nontraditional nuclear family in America rarely seen or discussed. The love emanating from the moments captured in “Dads” is undeniable. “For ‘Dads’ I chose not to work with any assistants nor extra lights. I did not want any technical restrictions and wanted to focus all my time with the subjects. I shot on film with available light and went for photographs that were closer to a ‘documentary’ style where I tried to highlight the small moments while taking care of children,” he said.

When asked what he hopes people will gain from “Dads,” Heynen replied: “Let’s say it with the words of Harvey Fierstein: “Love, commitment, and family are not heterosexual experiences, not heterosexual words, they are human words, and they belong to all people.”

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